Tuesday, July 20, 2010

Small break

Don't get me wrong here i like blogging , because that fills out some need for self expression of a part of me that usually doesn't get mentioned in your regular conversation. This is both awesome and in a way releaving to share things with someone.

Now with the whole crush scenario i think i need a real break from blogging, because this place kind of reminds me of the whole ridiculous situation. It was ridiculous, because after sometime of daily talking online and a bad day on my part everything ended abruptly with " You'll have to suffer the consequences of your actions" and " I have to go now. Bye". I still had some hope that we could talk again , but now i see that he has unfollowed and deleted my blog from his.

So i'll take a breather until i need it.

Before that i want to plug one blogger. He's been around since May and he's a future lawyer. At the same time he's quite fun to read and really horny all the time. I'll like if you go and say hi to him and show him some love. Asch92

Ps. People in real life also have bad days and can also be downers and in the future when you have a bf or a friend next to you and he/she feels bad are you also going to tell him the next day that he/she has to suffer the consequences? (yeah that was directly aimed at you not my readers)

Monday, July 19, 2010

Ewan McGregor + " The Ghost writer"

Usually I'm not attracted to guys who are way older than i am and especially ones that could be my father, like Ewan McGregor. I wouldn't say that i am sexually attracted to him, or in other words to shag me in his trailer on a movie set, but really like him as a person or some might say his on screen persona. He's like the perfect brit- witty, british accent, good looking and an awesome actor. Unfortunately he's married , but from the movies i have seen with him he has a very strong gay aura around him and if there is such a thing as gaydar mine is beeping quite hard. Maybe i was fooled by his play in the movie "I love you Philip Morris" where he plays a gay guy(he must be a very good actor to leave such a lasting impression)

His latest movies "The ghost writer" is AWESOME!!! It's directed by Roman Polanski and is a political thriller about the ex British prime minister and his memoirs. Ewan McGregor is the so called ghost writer and he gets himself into a big mess. Not to spoil it for anyone I'll just say that the movie has an interesting plot and a very unexpected end and just when you think you've seen the real end there's an even more unexpected end at the very end. (Wow lot's of "end"s in that sentence). If you're into that kind of stuff , you won't be disappointed by the movie. Only big problem i had with the movie was the obvious product placement, even implemented in the plot itself. All movie long i thought that Ewan McGregor was gay btw, before i wrote this post i found out he's actually married and so on.

All in all go Brits , love your accent, love your actors, love "Top Gear". You have some very attractive people and AWESOME accent (except Birmingham or Bolton, i don't remember, which have a very difficult accent to understand)

Have fun and be awesome!

Sunday, July 18, 2010

Technical difficulties. *Updated

*This post was updated with a few more things added. Also i fixed some mistakes in my writing, i guess i should proof read my posts before i post them*

Sorry for my melodramatic post from yesterday. That's all well and truly gone. It's quite awesome that i had a precognition or something of the sorts and backed up the blog that same morning, before all went down. This means that everything is where it is supposed to be, except for the post that triggered all this and the melodramatic post.

The reason for me deleting the blog,and all, was the whole crush thing. I guess I totally jinxed that one, didn't I? In short after the several day high of my 1st crush post and the good reception of the whole thing by the "crush", things kind of went down hill. Yesterday i was a bit down and he said we need to talk and he said that he wanted things to be just as they were and nothing to change. Even tho that was working for me before , I got extremely upset about that and blew things out of proportions( mind you i never said anything bad to him i just had severely deteriorated communication skills[aka didn't talk much]) After we stopped talking i deleted my blog in a burst of upsetness , even tho looking from now that didn't make much sense. Same night we talked and i was going the "it's all my fault" way and it ended with him saying i must figure out myself and me going to sleep before 10pm. Today we talked again and i get the whole Freudian talk that my actions from yesterday reveal things about me (that apparently he doesn't want to have anything in common with-that's how i saw it) and that i have to suffer the consequences of my actions. I don't like that but if he feels like that and wants no contact with me , than that's what i'll do. So i deleted his MSN from my Yahoo(that could sound so pervy if in the right mindset) so i don't get tempted into bothering him.

After this little episode i'll continue my posting when i have something to say. I hope you don't think i'm crazy and see that everything was all due to normal emotions. We're all human and as i like to say "Shit happens".

On an unrelated note i changed my layout (yet again) i'd appreciate some feedback if you like it or not. *edit* hmm apparently the background doesn't appear every time, odd. It would be cool if you guys get the symbolic meaning of the space man in the new header.

Hope you're doing ok and have fun guys(and also gals if there are any reading the blog)

Thursday, July 15, 2010

Almost coming out

As you might know the only people who actually know about my sexuality are you my readers. Or in other words I haven't really had any desire to tell anyone, either because i thought it was pointless or just didn't want to share this with anyone in real life.

This almost changed in the same day as the one my last post talks about. Earlier that day me and a group of friends went to the beach in a place they just opened so we decided to check it out.  After that me , two girls and 2 guys decided that we didn't feel much like going home so I said why not go to that resort. Since my car is quite nice(for someone my age) the girls said dibs to being in my car and the 2 guys went into the other guys car. So long story short 6 people went with 2 cars. One of the guys i've mentioned to the 2 girls that i have a super strong feeling that he is gay and one of the girls* said she thought the same.  * That girl is probably the only one that i could have complete faith in telling her that part of me , because i know she's that awesome and i've told her some stuff  about me no one ever knew before and she has been reliable.

So we go to the resort and we all just walk around for a few hours and i have some sneak peeks at some of the very good looking foreign guys there. I stay there thinking how awesome it could be to actually tell the above mentioned girl about how i feel and have a sort of coming out or just telling someone irl. So we get back in the city and after some time we decide to go home and i drive the 2 girls home. At the end i was left with the same girl alone in my car driving her to her place. My mind was shouting for me to just tell her and get it off my chest. On a stop light i even said "i gotta tell you something" and when she said "what?" i chickened out and made a funny comment that let my statement slip. I was also thinking how immensely awkward that convo would be so i said nothing.  Next time i get alone time with her i have no idea what could happen.

Just to add a little flair to this post i'd add this photo that screams complete awesomeness
 Click to enlarge. Source
This is it for today. Have fun and have a great day!!

Ps. I wonder how i almost came out when i was so against the idea just a month ago 

Tuesday, July 13, 2010

Can't get away from them ?!?!

Yesterday was a pretty rainy, thunderstormy day YAY !

The uncooperative weather didn't stop me and some friends to go to one of the major beach resorts in my country. It's close enough so we went there for a walk and to see how the tourism is this year. Apparently the people there have changed a lot and one giant chunk of the people there were.... *undramatic music*  ... you guessed it Danes. It was really fun to see so much here and for the first time to be on the other side of the language barrier. Most people there were my age and i can say that there were some very hot ones !!

The title shouldn't imply that i don't like em or anything , but that even when i'm home and way away from Denmark i cannot not hear the Danish language :P  A curious thing was that here they were way more party oriented and crazy then in their home country(well who isn't on a holiday). If i have any Danish readers i'd be very curious to know what was that dance in one restaurant where all people (all Danes) went on the tables and were dancing to a house/dance type music which from what i understood was telling the days from Sunday to friday. ( i would guess the text was saying what they should do , but my Danish is very basic so i didn't understand almost anything).

Also today i reached 2000 page views so if you want something special just say in the comments, if like always nothing pops up i'd continue with my routine, i guess. By special i mean a dedicated post to something or most of the stuff that have been done in the other blogs.

Oh no... a crush

This ain't good! As the title says i've developed a crush on someone. He's soo amazing and so smart at the same time. I think i can talk with him for hours on end for everything imaginable and i dare say we have quite a bit in common. I often find how he sees some stuff in life very refreshing and cute. If there was No such thing as time i think we could always find something interesting to chat about. BUT unfortunately i don't get to talk to him nearly as much as i could hope for and that's sad, because he often finds other stuff to do. Tho that can be a good thing, because when he comes online it always puts a smile on my face and most of the crap in life goes way back into my mind. (I know what you'd say having an online crush is pathetic, sad, stupid , pointless, bad, wrong or whatever , but my mind has been won apparently). Tho i'd probably not do anything about that because i value him as a friend and i wouldn't want to loose that! It would be bad if he sees my crush as a bad thing and not a BIG compliment to his personality and him as a person. Life is a cruel mistress :(

Have fun guys and see you next time.

Ps. Wow 2 post in less than 24 hours :O

Monday, July 12, 2010

Cool and weird dream

Last night after the really disappointing end to the World Cup i wasn't really feeling like sleeping, so i stated later then i usually do. During that time i chatted with mister Spastic Fantastic about the most random of topics which was: "how weird one should be to be a bear wrestler?". So that was fun but the more interesting followed in the dreams i had.

One dream in particular stood out from the rest and was vivid and cool enough for me to remember it very well even hours after i woke up. The dream in itself starts with me being in a small restaurant thingy , sitting in a booth and next to me sits the most amazing boy one could ever imagine ,like he came out directly from my head :P , but he was actually one i have seen around the web before. As one might realize by now we were on a date and everything was so amazingly vivid that i couldn't be more sure that we were actually there. It was so awesome to hug and go all lovey-dovey on him (there was actually no kissing or naughty touching) and it felt so refreshingly AMAZING!!! Also he had the most amazing white shirt one could ever had!!! .

Then things started to go all weird and i saw one guy from uni sitting with some Japanese guys and him looking quite worried. He was looking over his shoulder and being all nervous. I tell my date that i know him and i acknowledge the guy by saying hi from a distance. Then the guy goes somewhere and after some minutes the Japanese guys come to me (they were wearing suits and dark glasses *suspicious* ) and want to fight me because i apparently overheard something i shouldn't have. And all i was doing was cuddling into my date :P So i just stand up and say ok we fight then, and things get all slow-mo on me and i'm crazy fast like a ninja and get 2 people down and i wake up.

I so wish the lovey-dovey stuff had continued and i never woke up :(
                                                                 ...................................................

On a totally unrelated note i'm wondering how this blog became from a daily thing to a twice a week kind of thing. I do apologize to someone who might actually miss my regular postings. I don't know why it's like that now , it's not like i'm super mega busy or anything. Oops sorry was think out loud/in writing.

As for me i'm basically driving north and south in a perimeter of 100 km for the last few days just to change the scenery. That's fun , but nothing that major really to blog about , just hanging around and keeping myself busy i guess.  At nights i'm either chatting with one of the two people i met on blogger , or i can be outside bumming around :P

That's it i hope you all have a great time.
See ya.

Friday, July 9, 2010

I need You

That was it, 2 weeks of feeling good with myself and my life. Two weeks was the time my mind was overwhelmed by the sudden change of coming back home and keeping busy with friends. Now i feel as shit and alone as before. Life seems unbearable, because there's no person that would share a hug,a walk in the park while holding hands, a person to just be with and to have a mutual love with. Why is this so hard to accomplish? I think of love as oxygen,something you need to survive, and now i'm slowly suffocating.Or in other words just barely having enough will to live thru such dreadful days like this.

Sorry for the downer post. With this i don't want pity or ways to stay positive or clich├ęs that life will get better. I know it won't and life would never turn around and show me it's lovely side. Being alone for your whole life sounds like heaps of fun. I just need to vent i guess.

ps. I have a most probably bad feeling about something, but i would see how that works out and might mention it or make a post of it later on in the summer.  

Tuesday, July 6, 2010

Less gay?

This post is a reply to Micky's comment on my last post. On that post i mentioned that recently  " i feel less gay for some reason. That's a bit strange."

First i guess i should explain one thing so things are clearer. In the header, under the name of the blog, it states that i'm Bi and i stand by that statement. One might ask why i refer to myself as gay in most posts. A big reason for this confusion is that for sometime now i'm almost exclusively attracted by guys, tho in the future i'd love to have a family and kids , so i'm keeping a mental barrier and saying i'm Bi(if that makes sense). So how would one feel less gay then? It's not like i'm starting to look after more girls, than guys it's just i don't look as much after guys.  Also maybe because i'm busier i don't think as much about how i'd like a bf(as in boyfriend not best friend) and a relationship. I'd guess i made little, to no sense , but i hope at least 1 person got what i mean. (if there is such a person please be a good sport and explain it to others in a comment :P )

On the other hand how can one look at this photo and not have a mental meltdown and a cute overload!!!

I guess with this answer i just put more confusion , rather than explaining. Meh.
For no reason i'll add this artsy video of this song i like.

Moon Theory from Miami Horror on Vimeo.


Also a big Thanks for reading my blog. A special thanks to all who comment , because your comments enrich my life with all your different perspectives and points of views.Thanks :)

Sunday, July 4, 2010

Guys vs Guys

I have the good opportunity to live in 2 places during the year which are in two different parts of a continent. So this gives me the chance to see guys that are so much different and of course compare. This would be my comparison :)

The people who are following my blog for some time will know that i find Danes very hot, because they are mostly blond and i have a strong attraction to blonds. This is important because hair can be a very big turn on for me. But while most of them are blond and hot , they are also similar in a way and there is no diversity. There is the odd one that is different, but it's mostly a case of more of the same. This came to mind when i came back home again and saw the immense diversity in hair,skin,style etc etc . It could be that i'm in a place with several times more people in it but still. If you ask which is best , i'd say the one i might have :P So no real winners or losers here just an observations i wanted to share with you.

..................................

On a World Cup note, I can say that i'm so pumped that the Netherlands qualified for the semi finals. Quite pissed that Argentina lost to Germany, cuz i really liked the Argentinians play and have always had a dislike for the German football team (sorry Lunario). If Holland looses to Germany i'll throw my TV out of the window !!!
....................................
Also being where i am now is keeping me busy most of the time so that's good and quite the improvement over before. Strange tho that i feel less gay for some
reason. That's a bit strange.

Well yeah. See you all next time.

ps. I hope i don't get hate for the World Cup personal opinion about Germany

Friday, July 2, 2010

Hey there :)

Hello there blogworld :) Hope you haven't forgot about me :P

The last week or so some more interesting stuff have happened. First of all I did the almost 24 hour journey across a continent. It was quite boring and tiring, because i had to take a train,a bus and 2 planes. At least i had a laugh with one guy on the train. Ouu and yes satisfied a 2 month long craving i had for donuts.

First thing i did when i came back was to have a haircut, because I looked like Yeti on a bad hair day :P Now it's shorter :( , but definitely way better looking and dare i say even a tad cute. Tho i still have a dream to have a hair such as the one on the HOT stuff from the photo below.


Also I forgot how awesome it was to have a car for yourself and have the freedom to go wherever as long as you have money for petrol. Since the car had half a tank of petrol i have been going like crazy and had some fun aswell :) Also have been going out with friends , no major party or anything but still fun to just hang around.

Recently i heard that purple is a very stereotypical color for gays to wear. Is that true? If yes , yesterday i bought me shorts with purple and combined it with a white t-shirt with a bit of purple to match. Also bought too expensive but very awesome Nike flip flops. In other words i'm happy :)

Ok this is all for now. Hope you're all doing good. Bye!

ps I have one post that i think you'll find interesting son expect that.