Sunday, May 30, 2010

Coming out

As the title says the idea of "coming out" has been a lot in my head recently. It's not really because i feel the need to do it , but because of a few other things. Tho before that i want to quote a few points from the "Coming out tips" post from this site  i found very funny. 

... 2. Never come out in a moving vehicle. ... 8. Be sober! ...

16. If your audience had that deer in the headlights look, don’t make any quick moves. 17. Breathe. (seriously)

I started thinking about this for a few reasons. First was Micky's comment on a post from a few days ago. The second thing were the videos of people's coming out stories on Youtube , posted on the same site as the quote from above. 

Most of the videos had a very positive note to them. It was how guys came out to their friends and family and how this was such a relief and everything was such so much better.  Micky's point of view(for my post) was that the coming out thing would be good just because people would not throw stupid, juvenile and infuriating gay jokes in my presence.  

I personally don't think that a few words said to your family and friends can make such a big positive change. I'm actually thinking that doing so would bring far more down sides thanks to the ignorant and rudimentary thinking of some people.  It could alienate friends and make some people be aggressive to you just because you are different. It can also be bad for my future career. I also don't like the notion of "coming out" , because i see it in a way as me coming to you and explaining myself as different from the norms that someone has set. I should be able to go hand in hand with the person i love and that shouldn't be a problem. Maybe i'm too idealistic i don't know. 

This is not to say that i think people shouldn't come out. On the opposite , gays fighting for their freedom of speech and ability to express themselves as they wish. I think this has lead to making our society a bit more accepting. 

But i guess maybe i'm scared of change or some could call me gutless , but i don't plan to go and tell everyone that i like guys. It's probably the way i am i don't know and just wouldn't see myself any happier if i did it. 

Tho if i get a boyfriend i can rethink my way of thinking. So guys i'm single :P just phone me and we can think of something :P 


  1. Daniel I stummbled across that site last night and really enjoyed that list - there was a great mix of common sense and a great sense of humor.
    Comming out is not easy and I think each person has to look hard at thier own individual circumstanses. I suppose it comes down to you knowing when you are ready to take that step.It's def not something you need to shout from the roof top - not every body needs to know, but it may just make it easier if a few people close to you know.
    Anyway Daniel there is a lot of good advice and food for thought on that site.
    Must head off, so bye for now Stef
    ps one job I have at the moment is looking after a friends farm every 2nd week end so they can have a break.

  2. Hey Daniel :)

    Really liked your round the world post, definitely picked some cool places to stop off in!

    as for coming out, i've always felt it's entirely up to the person in question. I mean if you want to do it, then yeah go for it, and all the best, but i've never thought of it as something you "have to" do. but that's just my 2 cents.


  3. You don't have to call a press conference to tell the world you're gay.

    You can simply correct any false impression as and when it occurs.

    "Do you have a girlfriend, dear?"

    "You'll enjoy the dance - there'll be some nice girls there!" and thousands more every day phrases which assume you're heterosexual. That's what got up my nose and made me say that actually I was more interested in the boys and hadn't you noticed, oh feint heart, that Paul is around here an awful lot?

    Put your own complexion on it but quite simply it's not about stating difference for the sake of it it is sharing your self-knowledge with a few people you know pretty well.

    And anyway - you did ask!

  4. @ southern The site really has some interesting stuff on it.
    @ spastic fantastic Places were defo nice , but the matter is to actually visit them :P I also think that coming out is not something mandatory .
    @ micky Damnit i really wanted to call all the world leaders and tell them how my sexuality is their undoing :P And yes it would be convenient in some situations to be out.